you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
