i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
