You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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