He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
