she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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