lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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