we made out on top of his cat.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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