I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
