I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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