Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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