Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Randomize
