I wish my penis had an off switch
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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