So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
