im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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