My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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