On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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