all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize
