Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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