Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
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He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
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She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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