please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
