Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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