This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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