i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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