butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
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