Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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