I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
