just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
