6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize