and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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