Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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