if only i could text you this smell
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
