I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
