He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
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