Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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