I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
