I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
