I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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