drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
