i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
