Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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