She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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