singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
