We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
