it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
