I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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