May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
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Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
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i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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