hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
