your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
My cat gives me a boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
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