addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
