that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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