my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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