So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
