I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
