Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
