woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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