brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
