Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I love having hate sex.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
