Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
