if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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