he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize