Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(760): View more from California

For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".

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(760): For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad". http://tfl.nu/gpn1

Replies (12) Good night (4083) Bad night (1134)
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(847): View more from Illinois

2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.

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(847): 2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck. http://tfl.nu/qowh

Replies (8) Good night (7024) Bad night (965)
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(225): View more from Louisiana

i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip

(1-225): View more from Louisiana

whats a bus flip?

(225): View more from Louisiana

idk but apparently i invented it

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(225): i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip (1-225): whats a bus flip? (225): idk but apparently i invented it http://tfl.nu/n87k

Replies (23) Good night (9879) Bad night (1153)
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(360): View more from Washington

I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.

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(360): I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina. http://tfl.nu/jli8

Replies (55) Good night (1361) Bad night (9978)
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(248): View more from Michigan

Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.

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(248): Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages. http://tfl.nu/po3d

Replies (12) Good night (3428) Bad night (891)
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(703): View more from Virginia

the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign

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(703): the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign http://tfl.nu/m52j

Replies (10) Good night (5152) Bad night (1296)
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(626): View more from California

You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin

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(626): You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin http://tfl.nu/mf5k

Replies (6) Good night (2471) Bad night (1172)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.

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(201): Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it. http://tfl.nu/ciee

Replies (10) Good night (2195) Bad night (777)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.

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(508): He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is. http://tfl.nu/qf8i

Replies (8) Good night (906) Bad night (1632)
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(319): View more from Iowa

I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?

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(319): I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg? http://tfl.nu/atqw

Replies (5) Good night (947) Bad night (516)
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(720): View more from Colorado

Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.

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(720): Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress. http://tfl.nu/3c0t

Replies (4) Good night (1600) Bad night (600)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?

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(612): The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened? http://tfl.nu/olcd

Replies (1) Good night (442) Bad night (350)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again

(1-919): View more from North Carolina

It's not too late to disappoint her you know...

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(919): I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again (1-919): It's not too late to disappoint her you know... http://tfl.nu/57hn

Replies (3) Good night (1039) Bad night (413)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.

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(412): I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them. http://tfl.nu/23p2

Replies (0) Good night (584) Bad night (441)
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(707): View more from California

Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.

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(707): Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard. http://tfl.nu/vbbc

Replies (2) Good night (584) Bad night (350)

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