it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Randomize
