I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
