Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
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i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
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Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
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