So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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