My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
