We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize