i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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