took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
false alarm, still single
Randomize
