is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
